Cell phones are a static symbol.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.