What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"