If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.