Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Cell phones are a static symbol.