You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.