I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.