Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
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My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
A thief stole my toothbrush.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
Where do killer whales go to get their braces?
The orca-dontist.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths"