Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.