What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!