What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.