Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.