Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.