Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.