Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.