What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time