King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.