Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
I have bean
thinking about you.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
Pugs and kisses.
You're my purr-son.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
Your love will always be up to par.
We make a great pear
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
You’re my #1 pick.
Some bunny loves you.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
You octopi my thoughts.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
I whale always love you.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
I cannoli be happy
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
"I wood never leaf you."
You’re udder-ly perfect.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air