Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
You’re right up my alley.
You make miso happy.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I scored when I met you.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
I whale always love you.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
"Yoda one for me."
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
I have bean
thinking about you.
I’m soy
into you.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
"Aloe you vera much."
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
I cannoli be happy
I always have a souper time with you.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
Owl always love you.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
You’re my #1 pick.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Pugs and kisses.
Your love will always be up to par.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.