Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
You met all of my koala-fications
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I whale-y like you.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
Owl always love you.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
I have bean
thinking about you.
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
I love you deerly.
I like you sow much.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
"I'm nuts about you."
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
Some bunny loves you.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
We make a great pear
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
I’ll always be running-back to you.
You octopi my thoughts.
"Yoda one for me."
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.