Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
Some bunny loves you.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
I cannoli be happy
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
"Yoda one for me."
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
I get a real kick out of you.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
"I'm nuts about you."
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
You’re udder-ly perfect.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
We are mint to be.
"I wood never leaf you."
We bee-long together.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
"Aloe you vera much."
We make a great pear
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.