Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
We are mint to be.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
You octopi my thoughts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I always have a ball with you.
You're my purr-son.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
"Aloe you vera much."
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I like you sow much.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
You're one in a melon.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
You’re udder-ly perfect.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
You’re right up my alley.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
You make miso happy.
"I lava you."
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.