If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
I like you sow much.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I scored when I met you.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
You octopi my thoughts.
"I lava you."
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
Pugs and kisses.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
We bee-long together.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
when I’m with you.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
"You bake me crazy."
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
You make miso happy.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
You’re right up my alley.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
You met all of my koala-fications
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
Owl always love you.
We make a great pear
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?