I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
Your love will always be up to par.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
You make miso happy.
when I’m with you.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
"I wood never leaf you."
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
Some bunny loves you.
We bee-long together.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Owl always love you.
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
You’re right up my alley.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.