I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
We bee-long together.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
You’re right up my alley.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
"Yoda one for me."
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
I pitcher us together forever.
I cannoli be happy
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
I whale-y like you.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
You make miso happy.
Owl always love you.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
I always have a ball with you.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
You octopi my thoughts.