My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
All the chairs in my town were stolen
The people can’t stand it.
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
What happens when a closet goes into fighting?
It turns into a wardrobe.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Nothing really mattress.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover