What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
What do you call a chair in a suit?
A tuxSEATo
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch!
Nothing really mattress.
What do you call donating a chair?
Charity!
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
A coworker said, "Oh my gosh there's a mouse on your desk!"
To which, I replied "I know! And it's not working!"
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
I couldn't chair less!
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.