I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I couldn't chair less!
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
All the chairs in my town were stolen
The people can’t stand it.
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
Nothing really mattress.
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I said to my doctor, "I usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day...is that bad?"
He replied, "That can't be too comfortable. Try a chair!"
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover