I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
We're donion rings.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"It's not me, it's you!"
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.