I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?