Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.