Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"It's not me, it's you!"
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?