Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?