Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"It's not me, it's you!"
You looked better when I was drunk.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.