Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
We should make like your parents and split.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.