I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
"It's not me, it's you!"
We're donion rings.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
We should make like your parents and split.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
You are so right. And I am so left.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks