Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.