At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”