Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”