Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"