How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.