I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C: