I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.