German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".