The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!