Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.