What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"