Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"