So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes