My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.