When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare