How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.