I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.