My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.