Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Car puns are really tiring
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.