A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.