Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.