What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.