Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What are police cars made of?
Copper
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.