There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Car puns are really tiring
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.