What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.