I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.