What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.