My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.