What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.