What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Car puns are really tiring
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el