How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!