I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Car puns are really tiring
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’