My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep