What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.