Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.