Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.