Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
Car puns are really tiring
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’