Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Car puns are really tiring
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What are police cars made of?
Copper