Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.