Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Car puns are really tiring
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el