What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What are police cars made of?
Copper
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".