What are police cars made of?
Copper
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.