What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Car puns are really tiring
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.