My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.