"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?