Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"It's not me, it's you!"
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
We should make like your parents and split.
You looked better when I was drunk.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
I think we need to become better strangers.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."