If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
You look like my future ex wife.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
"My cat doesn't like you."
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
"It's not me, it's you!"
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.