Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
You look like my future ex wife.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
"My cat doesn't like you."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Can we still share a netflix account?