"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.