There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
We're donion rings.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
You look like my future ex wife.
We should make like your parents and split.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
"My cat doesn't like you."
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.