Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
"You deserve better and so do I."
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
You look like my future ex wife.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"My cat doesn't like you."
You are so right. And I am so left.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.