Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?