Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
We should make like your parents and split.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
I really like you. So does my wife.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!