This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
I think we need to become better strangers.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
"My cat doesn't like you."
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.