Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
My least favourite hue is purple. It's worse than red and blue combined.
Why was the artist in an argument? She wanted to have the final clay.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Q. What do you get when you combine Blue Agave and literature?
A. Tequila Mockingbird
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
After a tiring day at work, my wife drew me a relaxing bath. It wasn't very smart of me to ask if it was going to be in color or a sketch.
I'd hate to be the bearer of bad blues.
A bear's least favorite pastry at any party is the blue bear-y pie.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
What did the arirst say to his friend who was stressed? Don't worry, paintbrush it off.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
Why did the artist go to the lounge? Because it was her comfort tone.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
My Asian neighbor owns a T-shirt company where he colors white shirts. I think it's a Thai Dye T-shirt company.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
My sister was diagnosed as color blind. The revelation really came out of the blue.
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
If you live in a purple-colored house and suddenly all the power goes off, then you should probably check the fuchsia box.
Cows get sad whenever they hear the songs of the pop band 'The Mooooo-dy Blues!'
When I broke my brother's favorite toy, he turned absolutely red in anger.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
Artists are colorful people who know how to draw on their emotions.