My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
Having been thrown out of cartoon art school, he was in suspended animation.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
Did you hear about the colorful sea cow?
Oh the hue-manatee!!!
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Jack is a lovable man with a colorful personality. He is a great hue-man.
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
My favorite denim blue jeans just turned brown. I think I will have to call it Dung-arees!
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
Who else is a famous barnyard painter?
Pablo PIGcaso
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
One should never mix oranges in apple juice. Well, perhaps you may do it once in a blue moon.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What was Moses' favorite color?
Red, see?
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
My least favourite hue is purple. It's worse than red and blue combined.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.