My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
In the paintball game, I shot a guy thrice. He dyed on impact.
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
The painting was framed, so the cops arrested it.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
When I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flower, my teacher said I was the perfect roll-model.
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Nice touch.
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
My least favourite hue is purple. It's worse than red and blue combined.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
It's tough to tell if the sky is ever happy or not. It always looks so blue!
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
I red a joke about colors once.
It blue my mind.
The painter loved to paint because he was drawn to art.
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah it blue up.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.