Artists are colorful people who know how to draw on their emotions.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
A mixture of black, white, and red usually refers to a panda who has experienced severe sunburn!
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
My colleague kept on missing deadlines, so I advised him not to bite off more than he can blue!
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
After bidding farewell to my neurosurgeon friend, we promised that we would grey in touch!
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
Cows get sad whenever they hear the songs of the pop band 'The Mooooo-dy Blues!'
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
How did Salvador Dali like to start his mornings? With a bowl of Surreal and milk.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
The sun's favorite color is ultraviolet. Apparently, it glows with everything.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
The nurse always carried a red pen in her pocket in case she needed to draw blood.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
When I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flower, my teacher said I was the perfect roll-model.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies? Pencilvania.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!