Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
The nurse always carried a red pen in her pocket in case she needed to draw blood.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Having been thrown out of cartoon art school, he was in suspended animation.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Where does a cow hang his best paintings? In a moo-seum, of course.
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Blackboards love drinking beverages, especially hot white chalk-olate!
The sun's favorite color is ultraviolet. Apparently, it glows with everything.
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
How did Salvador Dali like to start his mornings? With a bowl of Surreal and milk.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
Artists are colorful people who know how to draw on their emotions.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state-of-the-art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They're calling it Mercedes-clenz.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
If art became imprisoned we'd have to Freda art.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?