My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why can't a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
When Papa red wanted to have some toppings on his bread, he told Son red, "Pass me the crimson!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
I was wondering about the color of the wind when it suddenly occurred to me that it blue.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
How did Salvador Dali like to start his mornings? With a bowl of Surreal and milk.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
After bidding farewell to my neurosurgeon friend, we promised that we would grey in touch!
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
What happened when the artist tried to draw a cube? He suffered from a mental block.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
Blue jeans are immortal. They never die, they just fade away!
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
Can anyone advise me what color my hair is?
I find it's a bit of a grey area.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
When you meet someone, you don't want to get off to a bad art!
The only thing that is black and white and has to be red all over is a newspaper.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!