Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett