Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!